I will continue shelling my peas

beyond the past and present events to which we cling to justify our unhappiness, what makes us suffer is in a forest.

This forest, this “archaism”, is expressed in mute as an emotional turbulence, latent in “normal” times, that wakes up at every existential crisis of our lives.

At each shocking event (death, separation, divorce, job loss, retirement), and also in moments of great happiness, especially when we realize one desire, we are dealing with a more or less violent crisis that is able to shake our identity.

every time we enter a new key-age, existential crises come to break a continuous sense of being.

Since our birth, at every step of the development of our childhood, during our adolescence, during our nascent parenthood, at midlife (Maturescence is a sort of upside-down teenage years crossed by the
menopause for women and by the andropause for men) and during our senescence (corresponding to the onset of the old age), we are experiencing an existential crisis which corresponds to a change of our course.

In the midst of life, in times of menopause (for women), at the time of losing the gains received at puberty, women used to go out of time and therefore experienced the death of a part of themselves.
They knew they would have to live just one more unique cycle ending in death. For men, the reduction or loss of sexual power imposed a painful castration. The male evolution is more linear, the female one more cyclical and more turbulent.

The more we advance in age and the more our life is punctuated with obstacles (illness, addiction, loneliness). the risk of “unbinding” is stronger and it takes more energy to stay alive. The risk is that the libido freezes or turns against the “ego” causing depression or somatization

a grandmother shelling peas in the presence of her granddaughter. The latter asked: “What would you do, grandmother, if you knew you were gonna die in an hour? “The grandmother replied: “I will continue shelling my peas”

In times of aging, we make a new appraisal of ourselves: “Have I been a good man, a good parent, a good husband? What will remain of me after my death? ”

Source: http://www.cleirppa.fr/UserFiles/File/une-psychanalyse-apres-70-ans.pdf

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